Cat's Cradle
by Assilem
Summary: A series of string figures created between two people as a game. The name of the entire game, uniting the specific figures, their order...they were always playing this game, it's all they ever knew...
1. Chapter 1

Cat's Cradle

Silence rang through the apartment for the first time in what Olivia felt was forever. The hustle and bustle of the day drew to a close, where the door wasn't opening and shutting, and her ear wasn't being talked off by many a person coming to the apartment. The only sound was two sets of lungs, taking in air, and expelling carbon dioxide. Two very different breathing rates, one slow and shallow, the owner fast asleep, her's slow and steady, taking in a yawn, she looked around the darken hallway.

Life had gone into a spiral this past year, everything that she knew had changed, and everything that was normal was sent into a clusterfuck, as her life took a different turn after turn, after turn. Some good turns, and some not so good turns, sleepless nights, and more tears than she wanted to admit. She thought she lost control, the control she needed to steady her life. There was always something new, everyday, that changed her view on the world, and herself.

Thirteen years ago, she took the transfer to SVU, and was given a new partner, a partner who became so integrated into her life and being, the world almost crumbled to pieces when he got up and left her. Just left. That's when it all started, when her world began its upside down, side turning, spiral making, turmoil induced, life changing year.

Olivia turned down the hallway, and peered into the newly converted office to bedroom. Nothing, no body occupied the room, but the soft snores from her bedroom made her aware of just how much her life had changed. Opening her hall closet, Olivia looked at the laundry, more than she ever dealt with, usually once a week, maybe, she'd do laundry, but now, she was doing laundry almost everyday. Dishes were piling up in her sink, food in her fridge, casseroles in the freezer from the wives of the precinct. The men merely supplied her apartment with flowers, and liquor, which now sat on the top most shelves of the kitchen cabinetry.

Kathy Stabler dropped by earlier in the day, she was the one who brought groceries, saying she understood how it was, and fresh food, and not take out, and boxed Hamburger Helper was the way to start this new life. Having Kathy in her apartment was weird, the woman who once almost died in her arms, who asked if she was sleeping with her husband, and the mother to her godchild. Now the ex-wife of her former partner, it was definitely weird having the woman in her space. She never imagined this scenario, of her offering Kathy some tea-no more coffee, just tea now-while her apartment looked like it had been hit by a tornado. She was the ex-wife of her best friend, who once asked if she slept with him… This was the woman who routinely referred to her as "the work wife". This was the woman who attempted to blame her for the disintegration of her marriage.

Closing the closet door, Olivia moved into the livingroom, and sighed. She was staring at a mess, the latest load of clean laundry in the hamper on the couch, a few blankets on her chair. Dishes from her dinner earlier sat on the coffee table, papers too, from the last case she took. She was due in court in two days, so spread on the table, was notes, forms, and files. Some stained now, her scribbles on every page.

She moved to the laundry basket, and sat on the couch, pulling the first of the garments out to start folding. The click of the lock on the door caught her attention, as she looked towards the door, and back at the piles. Continuing folding the laundry, the door opened and closed, as she felt the familiar essence and comfort of her partner. After the years, she knew he was in the room, knew his comfort presence from a mile away.

"Hey," he said softly, dropping his coat on the counter and opening the fridge, pulling out the jug of milk. It was better than water, and would hopefully sooth his day.

"Hey, there's a plate in the microwave," Olivia smiled as she continued to fold the laundry, taking in a yawn.

"I'm starved," he mumbled pouring a glass of milk. It would have to do, he'd love a beer, but Olivia didn't want to tempt herself, he got it.

"How was court?" Olivia asked standing up and moving to the kitchen, taking the glass of milk he poured she stole a sip and leaned on the counter.

"Long, Matthews is going down, without a doubt," he replied pulling out a fork from the drawer. "Who made this?"

"Manchester's wife," Olivia replied leaning forward and grabbing a fork out of the drawer. "Hamburger Macaroni," she added with a smile. "Did Matthews confess?"

"No, but defense has nothing to say he didn't do it," he replied as Olivia nodded. "Sleeping?"

"Yes, finally."

"Good," he smiled as the beeping of the microwave signaled his dinner was finished reheating. "I saw Cragen today."

"Oh?" Olivia asked, knowing that Cragen was stilled not the most pleased with the man standing in front of her, even her at the moment. He was coming around though, he never could stay mad at Olivia, who was slowly trying to convince Don that he did nothing to warrant the distaste.

"He said to give you his best, and whenever you're ready to come back, he'll take you in a heart beat."

"He understands why I left, he has to. Munch and Finn know, they agreed with me every step of the way," Olivia explained exasperated.

"Don't attack the messenger Liv," he said holding up his fork in defense. "Just telling you what he told me."

"I know, I'm sorry," Olivia defeated. The stress of the past year took its toll on her, her emotions were still running high, and the lack of sleep the past two weeks made it worse.

"How was your day?" he asked as Olivia smiled and looked around the room around her.

"Good," she smiled as cries came through the muffled walls of the apartment. Sighing, she groaned and looked at the bedroom down the hall.

"I'll get her," Elliot smiled with a wink as he moved down the hallway, following the sound of the cries. Opening the main bedroom door, he saw Olivia's bed, and beside it, in the bassinet, laid the source of crying. "Oh hello there little one." Not expecting a response, Elliot leaned over and picked up the infant, who now was two weeks old. Thick brown hair covered the infants head, piercing blue eyes stared back at him, with tears stained cheeks.

The baby stopped crying, and started to whimper, as Elliot cradled the young baby in his arms. "Why are you crying? Did you miss me? Because I certainly missed you."

Olivia stood in the doorway, following Elliot to the bedroom, and looked at the reason as to why her life had changed. He was holding the love of her life, the infant who took up residency in her body for 8 months. "Now why doesn't your Mama have you in your room?" Elliot asked turning around, looking at Olivia.

"We're not there yet," Olivia smiled looking at the two standing in the bedroom. Elliot always looked good holding children, they always loved him, and just looking at him made her heart skip a beat. How they got here was still beyond her.

"Stella, Stella," Elliot smiled lifting the newborn to his face, placing a soft kiss on her nose. "When did you feed her last?"

"About an hour or so ago," Olivia smiled moving over and coming into contact with her new family. "Hi sweetheart," she whispered softly. "She's in love with you."

"She is," Elliot smiled looking down at the infant. "She has good taste, like her Mama."

"Kathy came over today," Olivia said out of the blue, as Elliot handed her Stella, and she moved to sit on the bed, as she pulled out her left breast to begin feeding. She felt the unusual sensation of Stella started to suckle, and clamp down her gums, as her eyes fluttered shut.

"Um, why?"

"She said she understood how hard it was to have a newborn, without the father around, so she picked up some groceries," she explained looking down at her daughter, suckling away on her breast.

"She was looking for evidence that we were together while we were partners," Elliot explained as he started to undress. The suit he wore was becoming bothersome, and he started to drop his dirty clothes in the hamper in the ensuite.

"I understand why she would, you're her ex husband," Olivia defended. "She…"

"She was always jealous of you," Elliot continued, talking over Olivia, as he grabbed a pair of sweats from the dresser. "She was always, and I mean always asking me, if there was anything between us."

"I would never ask you to break your marriage vows," she whispered looking up from Stella, into his eyes. "Never."

"You never did," Elliot replied sitting at the edge of the bed. "You know, she looks just like you."

"She has my mother's eyes," Olivia mumbled staring down at the closed eyes of the infant. Elliot smiled and moved to sit next to Olivia and Stella, draping an arm around her shoulders.

"No, she's you, through and through," Elliot replied as he kissed Olivia's temple. Olivia looked at Elliot and smiled, resting her head against his shoulder. Life had certainly changed, and she was certainly a different person, he was too. When did life change so much, and so fast that made them where they were?


	2. Chapter 2

She watched him shoot Jenna Fox, the teenager, in the squad room. Her arms were the first place he went once it was all said and done. They stood in the squad room, hugging, no one said anything, as they stood there. It was for a brief moment, until they unlinked their arms and stared into each other's eyes. Not saying a word, and not breaking personal space, the two moved out of the ball pen. Elliot hadn't said a single word, just hung onto her personal space, their personal space, and made their way into the cribs. It was then when they stepped out of the bubble, Olivia sat on one of the beds, as she watched Elliot stare at his locker.

"God damn it," he finally spoke, slamming his fist into the cold, galvanized aluminum.

"El," she whispered softly, looking up, after closing her eyes at the sound of his fist against the locker.

"Fucking Jesus fucking Christ," he swore angrily sinking to the ground, his knees moving to press against his chest, his arms wrapping around his calves, and dropping his forehead to his knees.

Silently moving, Olivia moved to sit next to her partner, her hand touched his, as Elliot moved to thread his fingers with hers. She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, as she felt his body start to shake.

"Ssh," Olivia whispered into Elliot's ear, her other arm moving around his shoulders and she held him to her body. Elliot Stabler never cried; he was always the one holding her together. The sharp intakes of breath, the shakes of his body, tears rolling down his cheeks. She didn't know when, or how, but his arms found their way around her neck, his head buried into her breasts, as he continued to cry.

They sat like that for what seemed like hours, no one entered the cribs, but she could hear Fin and Munch outside the cribs, telling people discretely to "get lost". The station had died down, that much she knew, there was whispering outside the room, but she didn't care, Elliot didn't care, he stopped crying, but remained in her arms. No words were said, just breathing, and holding onto her with his life.

Olivia looked down, as Elliot's face looked up at her. She looked into his eyes, and saw something, something that she had only seen a few times before. Pure passion. Her lips started to tremble, as his hand moved hand up to stroke her cheek, his eyes never breaking contact with hers. Olivia took in a sharp breath, as his lips smashed against hers, pulling her head tight to his. His tongue swept into her mouth, as his hands tangled in her hair.

"Tell me to stop," he whispered at the moment of a breath intake. Olivia looked at him, licking her lips, her eyes searched his for a reason to say no. She never once thought that this would happen, on the floor of the locker room, rain beating down on the caged windows, after a shooting. Fuck she'd never thought this would really happen.

He was married, she knew his kids, was the god mother to Eli, Kathy trusted her-somewhat- she was the Work Wife, the woman who never crossed that invisible line that most opposite sex partners crossed. Now they were crossing the line, making their relationship change forever. For the past few years, they had become closer, more reliant on each other. Phone calls were more frequent, in the middle of the night. They were working more in unison, everything they did was like they were the same person. More than normal they were asked if they were sleeping with each other, each time, they said no.

His hand snaked up the front of her shirt, causing her to gasp as his mouth traveled to her neck, as his fingers trailed searing heat on her skin. She was letting him, giving him the permission to change the nature of their relationship, putting his marriage at risk, changing everything they knew about being Olivia and Elliot, Benson and Stabler, the two best detectives Manhattan's Special Victims Unit has ever seen.

She could stop him, stop him from ruining his marriage, changing the parameters of their relationship, but his hands now unbuckling her belt, his lips tracing patterns on her skin. Did she really want to stop this? Stop her attraction to him? There was something there, always had been, it had grown stronger over the years, manifested itself into the best and longest friendship…relationship they had both ever experienced. He was there for her when her mother died; she was there for him when his mother died.

"Elliot," she moaned, his hands sliding into her opened pants.

"'Liv," he mumbled pulling away, she felt his eyes burn into her skin, all the way up to her eyes. Searching her eyes with his own, she blinked, pulling her lower lip into her mouth, between her teeth.

Elliot's mouth crashed down on hers, his hands starting to pull at the fabric of her shirt. This wasn't going to be slow and methodical, it was going to be fast, in desperate need to have some sort of contact, something real. They both knew it was wrong, both knew he was married, she was his partner, they were perfect together.

The sounds of his buckles coming undone, and zipper, the blood throbbing in her ears, his breath on her skin, the callus of his fingers touching her smooth skin. Her breath hitched as she felt his hand slid into her panties, pulling them down, just enough.

This was it, this was the moment she had told herself she didn't want, but in reality she wanted more than anything itself. It was happening on the floor of the precinct, concrete beneath her body, making the pressure points on her hips and back hurt. She was going to be bruised. She knew Elliot's knees were going to kill him in the morning, but the moment he entered her all thoughts of wrong doing were thrown from her brain.

All she could think of was the pleasure ringing in her ears, his grunts of pleasure, as he moved in and out, almost too quickly. She knew not to make too much noise; their cover would be blown, be caught, and lives ruined forever. It felt so right and wrong at the same time, with every thrust she felt the familiar pressure building up. Her hips hurt, as they hit the concrete, his hands holding tight on her thighs, holding her up enough for him to enter freely.

She was having sex with Elliot Stabler. The man she always denied her feelings for, the man she had to say she never slept with, to his son, to his wife, and now she could never look them straight in the eye.

All thoughts vanished as pleasure started to ride through her body, the white blinding light as her body arched into his, his hand covered her mouth, as she vocalized her pleasure. She felt him empty into her, as his head buried itself in her neck.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her ear.

"Don't be," Olivia mumbled, her hand coming up to caress the back of his neck.

Walking into her apartment, Olivia leaned against her door, and closed her eyes. She drove Elliot home, home to his wife, and kids, no sign their relationship took itself to another level. She walked him inside, holding his hand, as Kathy looked up from where she and Lizzie were watching "Grey's Anatomy". She merely said there was a shooting, and let Kathy take her rightful place as the sole comforter of Elliot Stabler. Elizabeth Stabler, straightened up, looking at her parents, and to Olivia. She mouthed something, and Olivia nodded to the teenager.

He had someone to go home to, she didn't even have a cat to come home to. Her apartment rang in silence, as she moved to the bathroom, shredding her clothes to the floor. She needed to shower, needed to wash away the day.

Turning the knobs of the shower, she let it spurt for a few moments before stepping into the hot water burn her skin. Leaning against the tile, Olivia, for the first time, didn't know if it was the water running down her cheeks, or the tears.

The stress of the day, the shooting, the sex against the cold concrete in the one place they needed t be just partners. They weren't, never were really just partners, and everyone knew that.

Olivia slid down the wall, so that her knees were pulled to her chest, the hot water beating down on her skin, the tears running down her face, hair wet, clung to her face, as her makeup ran, heavy black marks streaming down her cheeks.

She stayed liked that until the water turned cold, hitting her skin, sending goosebumps up her body, as she started to shiver. More than anything she wanted Elliot to be with her, Elliot to hold her in his arms, and tell her that it was going to be okay.

She didn't hear her bathroom door open, Finn standing in the doorway. Not batting a lash, he grabbed a towel from the rack, leaned over and turned off the cold water. "C'mere," he said softly as Olivia stood up, taking the towel. She didn't care how she looked, that she had no clothes on. Finn helped her step out of the tub, as his arm wrapped around her body. "To bed Liv."

"I'm sorry," Olivia whispered as Finn sat her on the bed, as he turned towards the dresser. Opening the second drawer-the first always was underwear he decided- and found a simple cotton camisole and a pair of pants that matched.

"Arms up," he said sliding the top over her head. "Put these on," he offered placing the pants on her lap. "I'll make you tea."

Moving out the bedroom, Olivia watched Finn and down at the pants. She slid them over her legs, and let the towel drop to the ground. Looking at the bed, she laid down, over the covers, putting her head on her pillow.

It was not more than 4 minutes later, Finn walked into the bedroom, holding a mug of tea, looking at Olivia, he moved to the bed and put the mug on the end table. "Move over," he ordered slightly and Olivia nodded her head, as he pulled the comforter down and over her body, as she moved back. "He's okay."

"Finn…" she started as he shook his head. "I'll stay with ya, unless you watch Munch, but that old fart snores." Olivia smiled softly, and rolled over looking at Finn. "You have to be the only person in Manhattan without a TV in your bedroom Liv. What am I supposed to do?"

"You don't have to stay," Olivia said sitting up a bit, and taking a hold of the tea mug.

"Bullshit I don't, Stabler's got his wife, you got nothin' but me tonight baby," he winked leaning back against the headboard. "You got that?"

"I got that," Olivia mumbled. Moving to lay her head on his shoulder, Olivia took a sigh in, and wrapped an arm around his body. "Thank you."

"Anytime baby face," Finn mumbled. "Wanna play pinochle?" Olivia took a moment and started to chuckle into his chest. She could tell him everything, get it all off her chest, but she couldn't. Couldn't change their relationship past this-bizarre friendship thing they were doing tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

He put in his papers, he had left her. Hadn't said a single word to her since that night, of the shooting, since they took the parameters of their relationship, threw it to wind, and it had never been the same. He just left her.

She deserved it, after all she just up and left him when she went undercover as Persephone… But she was doing a job, and came back. He wasn't coming back, he just left her. It wasn't like she was his wife, Kathy had that right and position. But Elliot Stabler was her other half, the person she tried to live without and couldn't do it. The only person she was truly comfortable with, who knew anything about her, and on more than one occasion, tucked her into bed, after a tough case and no sleep.

First he didn't pick up the phone, it had been two weeks. She had called him, texted him, left messages, begged that he call her. She knew he was dealing with things, knew that he probably told Kathy that they slept together, and that he was dealing with the fallout. She could care less what Kathy thought of her, Elliot was her best friend, she wasn't going to loose him.

Opening the door to the empty interview room, Olivia leaned over, letting the tears fall from her eyes. Her heart was broken, shattered in pieces, and she was officially alone.

"Should one of us go after her?" Rollins asked, looking at Finn and Munch. The two older detectives looked at each other, and nodded.

"I'll go," Munch replied, standing up, and walking to Cragen's office. He looked at the Captain, thumbing towards Stabler's desk, the older man nodded. Munch took a breath and turned towards the ball pen. "Finn…"

"Rollins stay here," Finn said standing up, and following Munch into the hallway. "Papers?"

"I think so," John replied as he pointed to the interview room, that held their friend. Opening the door slightly, Olivia looked up and saw John and Finn. Her cheeks were stained with tears, her mascara smudged. "It'll be okay Liv."

Olivia didn't know if it was going to be okay, he had left her. She loved Munch and Finn, like any woman would two men she had worked with for most of her career. They were no Elliot, but they loved her.

"I'm okay," Olivia crocked out, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"I know you are," Finn said leaning against the wall. "Come on, we still have a job to do."

Olivia nodded and gave John's hand a squeeze of reassurance, before taking a deep breath, and moving out of the room. They were right. It was going to be okay, there were still people to save. Victims who needed her more than she needed Elliot Stabler.

"They're okay," Olivia sighed leaning into her couch, bringing her knees to her chest, her tea mug resting on her knees. She had been trying to get her life back to normal, to some sort of semblance of what her life used to be like. Which meant that having a conversation with her friends. She had a few friends that weren't members of SVU, or the NYPD, but they were there. Megan McNicholl, she grew up with, while Olivia went into the Police Academy, Megan went into teaching. They were as opposite as could be: Megan married with three kids, two boys and a girl-Leo, Marcus and Natalie.

"What, you have two?" Megan asked leaning back in the chair. The three kids on the floor playing a game of twister, the only game Olivia had in her apartment.

"Yeah," she sighed. "Its hard enough showing one newbie the ropes, but two, its almost exhausting."

"I'll bet," Megan replied. "Has he gotten back to you?"

"No," Olivia replied with a sigh. "It doesn't feel right, he's my best friend."

"I get that," Megan said with a nod. "Leo let your sister play."

"Fine!" the ten year old boy said with a groan, tossing the spinner towards six year old Natalie.

"You know Olivia, they're all yours, I think I'm done with them," Megan said winking at her children, as Olivia chuckled from the couch. "Have you tried to go see him?"

"No, I shouldn't be so hung up on him," Olivia replied as Natalie crawled beside her on the couch. "Hey Natty."

"Hi," Natalie replied resting her head on Olivia's arm. Olivia smiled and moved to wrap her arm around the six year old.

"No unless something else happened you didn't tell me," Megan replied as Olivia nodded her head, Megan's eyes widened as she brought the tea mug to her mouth. "Well, that complicates things."

"It really does," Olivia sighed. "Why can't life be as easy Natalie?"

"Cause," Natalie replied with a smile as Olivia chuckled softly.

"I don't know what to say Liv," Megan said looking at the woman, sitting across from her, cuddling her daughter. "I don't really know Elliot."

"Sometimes I wonder if I really know him," Olivia confessed. "Who just leaves after thirteen years?"

"Leo's Daddy?" Natalie replied as Megan stared wide-eyed at her daughter.

"Like Leo's daddy," Megan said nodding her head towards Olivia. "She's right."

Olivia sighed and looked down at the blonde who now held her iPhone and was playing Angry Birds. She was right, she never knew Elliot to be afraid of anything, anything but the intimacy involving her.

Everyone always said they were too damn close, but were they really? They could read each other's minds, anticipate everything about each other, they could tell when the other was hurting, or needed a hug. Yet, he was still afraid of being with her…

"This is dumb," Olivia sighed as she stared at the grave of her mother. She needed to get away, get away from all the judgment, the critizing, the newbies asking questions, staring her down in idol worship. She would usually meet Elliot for coffee, drinks, or desert, or breakfast at 4am. But Elliot was no more, so she did the only thing she could think of.

Went to the grave of one Serena Benson. She didn't know why she was here, but strangely she felt comfort in knowing that even know her mother was dead, she was still the only true comfort Olivia knew.

She knew what Serena would say, the days she was sober, and truly there for her, Serena would open her arms, allow Olivia to lay in them, and gently stroke her hair, telling her that no man was worth breaking her heart.

She had to admit that Elliot had broken her heart.

"Why does everyone I love just leave me?" she asked sliding down the side of the gravestone and stare at the name.

"_No one truly leaves you Little One," Serena whispered, as twelve-year-old Olivia laid in her mother's lap. Serena's hand gently stroking her brown hair, soothing the young girl's tears away. "Nana will always be in your heart, and you will carry her heart in your heart."_

"_Mom," Olivia whispered softly. "Don't you miss her?"_

"_I do, but I never doubt how much she loved me, therefore Little One, I will always know what she would say to cheer me up," Serena whispered. "She would look at you, and say 'my darling little angel, don't shed a tear for me, for I'll always be in your memories'."_


	4. Chapter 4

Standing outside of his house in Queens, Olivia stared at the four walls. She just needed to know he was all right, needed to know that it wasn't her fault he left, to give her closure. She deserved it.

Her feet moved without her knowledge, as she made it to the front door, her finger ran over the doorbell, as she pushed it with care. What was she going to say? Demand to know why he left her? Ask why he couldn't at least say goodbye.

"Olivia," a voice said, shaking Olivia out of her trance, as she stared at the one person she didn't want to see.

"Is Elliot here?" she asked, finding her voice after a moment of shock.

"No, Elliot doesn't live here anymore," Kathy replied, folding her arms across her chest. "I assumed he was staying on your couch…"

"No," Olivia answered shaking his head. "When did he leave?"

"A few weeks ago, said he didn't love me anymore, and packed his things and left. I thought he would have gone to you or the precinct," Kathy explained, as Olivia looked at the woman carefully.

"Elliot turned in his papers," Olivia replied softly, staring at the woman. The look upon Kathy's face told Olivia everything, told her that Elliot was gone, really gone.

"How along ago?" Kathy asked softly staring at Olivia, who's face showed constant worry.

"I'm guessing the same time he left home," Olivia replied, her eyes searching Kathy's for answers. Someone had to give her answers, someone had to be the one that knew where he was, that knew why, why he left her, Kathy, his kids, his job, left her.

The two stood outside, staring at one another, each searching for their own answers, to give some reason to Elliot leaving, some reason for him to leave everything he knew and loved.

"I should go," Olivia said out of the blue and turning heal, as she started to walk down the path.

"Olivia, wait," Kathy called moving further out of the house, following Olivia. She instantly tensed, knowing that what was going to come out of Kathy's mouth, was going to change everything. "He told me," she said strongly. "He told me what happened, in the locker room." Olivia took a deep breath, and turned looking at Kathy.

"You have to know, it never…"

"I know," she replied. "Maybe he's afraid that he can't have who he really wants, so he had to leave."

"Or maybe, he shot a kid, and he couldn't deal with it," Olivia offered as Kathy shook her head.

"No, its you."

She was drunk. Tipsy, inebriated, intoxicated…plain shit faced. The row of empty shot glasses on the opposite side of the bar told her just how drunk she was. Did she care? Not really.

The other evidence of her extreme intoxication, was the man sitting beside her, his hand stroking up her inner thigh, and she was letting him. Normally he would have been flat on his face, her gun to his head, but tonight, she was going to let him take her pain away. Put Elliot out of her mind, would she regret her decision in the morning? Most likely.

She wasn't going to dwell on that now. Because their cab was here, the bartender told her so, as she watched him pay her tab. Her vision blurred slightly, as she stood up, taking a hold of his hand. She wasn't sure of his name, something starting with an E…Evan? Ethan? Everett?

She didn't care, she needed the physical contact of someone, to make sure she was real, to make sure that everything she was feeling could go away, could change her outlook on life.

They weren't going back to her place, which meant his. Which meant the walk of shame. Better than having to kick him out of her bed once they were finished. She could get up, pull her clothes on, fake a call from Cragen about catching a case. His lips attached to her neck, and she wished he would just get it over with. His hand was then moving its way up her inner thigh, and a content sigh escaped from her lips.

This wasn't like the Olivia Benson she was, this was a new Olivia Benson, who decided to throw caution to the wind, and feel something, other than betrayal. Was this man, Everett-his name was Everett she decided- the best thing she needed? No. But she wasn't going to stop.

He was something to do with money, he worked with it, she remembered very little as they both stumbled into his elevator of his apartment. From what she could gather they were in the Upper East Side. Pulling away from the man, Olivia looked around the elevator.

"Pretty swank."

"Thanks," he replied. "Nightcap?"

"Please," Olivia smiled as the elevator door opened to reveal his apartment. His hand and arm wrapped around her waist as he lead her into the luxury apartment. She didn't feel anything special at his touch, just liquor induced passion. He wasn't anyone she could see spending the rest of her life with.


End file.
